Crushed down but not destroyed

I must confess that these past couple of have been very joyous and yet also very perplexing, if not downright sad at times.


Don't be too concerned, nothing tragic is going on with me personally, but it seems a number of friends and acquaintances of mine are struggling through things that I can't even wrap my brain around. I just received an e-mail from a dear friend who recently lost his mother to cancer. He shared with me that his dad suffers from loneliness and helplessness quite often.

Another dear friend just lost her mother right after her first baby was born. She suffers from not having her mom to call and ask practical questions to or ooo and ah over her baby with.

On Sunday I sat in Church next to another friend who's husband was still in the hospital being treated for cancer. They only found out recently, but their lives are already vastly different. She looked tired.

And last night Daryl and I prayed for a dear girl who still believes in God but has not been back to church since childhood because she was sexually molested there.

This world is a devastating place.

But there is a hope. A sure hope.

And that hope for my friends, that I have watched them hold fast to and even rejoice in, is not just the promise of eternity where everything is good and right and pain-free as God desires, but their assurance that God is with them, that God is for them, and that God is good - no matter what their circumstances are.

Oh, to know the joy of the love of God through Jesus Christ our Lord! What a privilege to understand that He has saved us from much suffering that we deserve, and that even in trials, He is working good. What an amazing, perplexing truth.

And the hope for me as I watch my friends, is the same, but it is also this:

Our "God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ [is] the Father of mercies and the God of ALL comfort, who comforts us in ALL our affliction...For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share ABUNDANTLY in comfort too." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

In that very same book, it says:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the SURPASSING power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." 2 Corinthians 4:8-11

How I have been amazed and over-joyed to see the life of my Lord and Savior so beautifully through the lives of my friends as they continue to worship Him, and yes, even as they grieve, but not as the world grieves, with hope, glorious hope.

Maintain hope dear friends; it looks GREAT on you! How you shine!!!!

PS - How cool is this? I just clicked on the Desiring God site (listed under my links) and John has an article about suffering with others! God rocks!

Kids

This picture was actually taken a long time ago, but it's one of my favorites.

It was taken just before I got married at a slumber party (aka surprise bridal shower) I was having with some of my dearest friends who I met through serving with Dv8 (the middle school ministry at CRC).

Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 2:8, "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

Though I don't work directly with that ministry any more and see those girls far less frequently, they still have my heart. They became dear to me.

Elsewhere in Scripture Paul calls the people he leads in ministry, "my joy and my crown." How true that as I see them continue to follow Christ and reflect His glory just by being alive and believing in Him that they are my joy.

Keep pursuing Him girls. And while you're at it, no that you are a joy to me :) and I miss you. Can we hang out soon?????

(and maybe eat cake?)

Where Mercy Abounds...

This week I had the unbelievably wonderful privilege and joy of remembering what God has done for us on the cross. Daryl and I went to Fairfax, VA so he could serve on a panel for the National Science Foundation, leaving me with time alone to study the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ and what that means for me and for you.

What a joy! I read through CJ Mahaney's book, "Living The Cross Centered Life" which I highly recommend to you. (www.sovereigngracestore.com)

He so kindly reminded me of God's immeasurably personal love for me (and for you!) by expounding on Jesus' time in the garden of Gethsemane, His death on the cross and His resurrection. Not to mention my own sinfulness.

The most humbling part of the book to me, the part that most caused me to worship, was CJ's teaching on the garden of Gethsemane. CJ discussed how Jesus knew always that He had been sent to earth to pay for the sins of mankind, and how He never wavered in the face of persecution and trouble, but how He suddenly was completely distressed in Gethsemane.

"Why?" writes CJ.

"Here's why: In this garden, our Savior is beginning to confront as never before the ultimate and deepest agony of Calvary - an agony that will go infinitely beyond any physical aspects of His sufferings.

For Jesus, the cross will bring incomparable and unprecedented suffering of wrath and abandonment. His downward path into those unspeakable depths begins to plunge steeply in this garden called Gethsemane." (p. 79 of The Cross Centered Life)

The astounding thing here is that the cup Jesus kept asking to be removed from Him - the cup of complete wrath from God the Father that was anyways so that WE could drink from full the cup of salvation.

Jesus could have yelled to the men mocking him from the bottom of the cross, "Drink your own cup!" and gotten down, but He didn't.

Why?

According to Galatians 2:20 He suffered the complete wrath of God that belonged to me and to you because He loved me and you.

Amazing.

It is this demonstration of God's love that I must continue to study and focus on because it is here that I remember that God certainly loves me and all of mankind and here that I am moved to worship and here that I motivated to live for Him and here that I am inspired to tell others about Him. It is here at the cross; the most wondrous place in all of history.

Have you looked upon it today?

Written in memory of Falwell

I don't claim to be best friends with Jerry Falwell, in fact, he wouldn't have even recognized if he had bumped into me last week even though one night I had hot cholcolate with him and his wife in their home after we disturbed their evening with Christmas carols!

But during my 4 years at Liberty Univeristy I at least saw him 3-5 times a week, and here's what I saw:

I saw him teach and encourage us (and yes, sometimes I thought, "Jerry, why did you go there?"). I saw him cheer at basketball and football and volleyball games and talk and laugh with the students and families who gathered around him. I saw him hug his wife and take his grandkids out to lunch. I saw him sit on a platform at my friends' graduation the year after I had received my diploma from him, and shake each of their hands and congratulate them even though doctors had advised him not to because of his health.

I saw the fruit of the spirit in him - kindness, joy, peace and confidence, generosity, and gentleness.

And I received much from this man as well. He provided me many a free meal when we would eat in the same restaurant and he would find out we were LU students. I was the recipient of many of his prayers as an LU student and RA. And yes, despite his verbal blunders, I received much wisdom on him about how to live life, love people, and love our God.

I'm writing this blog because frankly I feel the media and even some Christians (out of ignorance, I'm sure) are cutting him an unfair deal and honestly I'm upset. Of course his reward is in heaven and Scripture teaches clearly that when you follow Christ the world will hate you, but I for one would like to stand up for Jerry.

Sure he said some incorrect things. Sure he screwed up and yes he even sinned. We all do. And praise be to God that there isn't a spot light always on me like there was on him or I'd be counted even more controversial, screwy and sinful than he.

I would like to hope that people would search for the evidences of grace in his life and remember him for the good things - his laughter, his hope, and his fight for truth. Jerry often protected us against much of what Satan would have liked to accomplish when the rest of us would have maybe liked to but didn't know how.

God bless him. He surely was a blessing to me.

Simon

This is my dog Simon.

I inherited Simon upon marriage. Although I had always considered myself a dog lover, when I actually had to live with a 100 pound, black hair shedding, inconsiderate Doberman, I started questioning if I really loved dogs at all.

Sure I liked Simon. I liked Simon outside. I liked Simon cuddling on the couch. I liked Simon when people saw us out and said, "Wow, that's a cool dog."

But I hated constantly having black hairs stuck to my socks, water drops on the kitchen floor, and his incessant staring while I lie in "his" former spot on the bed. I did not like Simon in those moments. I did not like Simon when he stunk, when he drooled or when he bowled me over coming down the stairs.

And yet somehow, at some point, Simon won my heart.

Perhaps he won it when he wiggled his stubby little tail and spun around when I came home from work. Or perhaps it was when he leaped and played with me in the yard. Perhaps it was when he very clearly warned me that there was a strange man in our yard and barked ferociously to let that strange man know he shouldn't pull any funny business at Simon's house. Perhaps it was when he looked at me with those big sad eyes at dinner for just a little bite. Perhaps it was when he snuggled with me on the couch or groaned with contentment when I rubbed his ears or the back of his legs. Perhaps it was when he started visiting my side of the bed each night and lying his head by mine for one last pet. Perhaps it was when he started following me everywhere like he wanted to be near me - even in the laundry room. Or perhaps it was the other day when he got off his leash while being attacked by little crazy yappy dogs (seriously - they were obviously crazy - they attacked someone 5 times their size) and stood still until I could replace. Perhaps it was at one of those moments, but I believe this love I have for Simon has been in process since the first day that I met him.

Who couldn't love him? He even smiled for the camera.

Proverbs 12:10a, "A righteous man regards the life of his animal," has always applied to my gracious husband, but not so much to me. I'm beginning to think that maybe God is using even Simon, a big hairy dog, to help make me a little more righteous. God does work in mysterious ways.

So Simon, this blog entry is for you...

It Is Sown in Dishonor, It Is Raised in Glory

An article I found quite timely from John Piper on his DesiringGod.org website...

May it bring clarity and comfort to us each as we evaluate life and death and all that is in between.

It Is Sown in Dishonor, It Is Raised in Glory
By John Piper October 10, 2000

Romantic death is rare. More common are involuntary groanings and screams of pain. The ignominy of dying is pathetic. It is more often hellish than heroic. The apostle Paul uses two words to capture death's degrading assault. The first is "dishonor." He says that the death of our physical body is like a seed being sown in the ground. How is it sown? "It is sown in dishonor" (1 Corinthians 15:43).

During my college days, my father's mother died, leaving my grandfather very alone in Pennsylvania. His youngest son, my father, brought him to South Carolina to live with us. I was glad, and my mother was gracious, as always. Over time, his condition worsened and my mother was unable to care for him in the absence of my dad, who traveled as an evangelist.

So the painful decision was made to move him to a nursing home. There I watched him decline from the strong tool-maker-turned-pastor to skin-and-bones. The last time I saw him alive was with my father while I was home from seminary. We drove to the nursing home together, expressing the expectation that this would be the last time I would see him alive. It was.

There he lay in a diaper, curled up in a fetal position. His eyes were glazed over and crusty. His breathing was labored. My father spoke with me about his dad for a few minutes and then suggested we pray very loudly by putting our mouths next to his seemingly deaf ears. Ignoring the others in the home, we almost shouted our prayer. When my father stopped, his father heaved with all his fading might and said, "AMEN!" That was the last sound I ever heard him make. If I had ever seen a body sown in "dishonor," this was it. And there are millions like him.

Then there is another word that Paul uses to describe the humiliating condition of death. In Philippians 3:21 he says that Christ "shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body" (KJV). The word "vile" translates the Greek, tapeinoseos. Before the New Testament transformed this word into a virtue, because of Christ's glorious "lowliness," the word had only negative connotations of "humiliation, debasement, defeat" (Liddell and Scott).

I recall reading a biography of Julius Schniewind, a German New Testament scholar who was born in 1883. He became deathly ill in the summer of 1948, but few knew how serious it was. Hans-Joakim Kraus was with him when he taught his last "lay Bible hour," and heard him groan as he was leaving, "Soma tapeinoseos! Soma tapeinoseos!" - the phrase from Philippians 3:21: "Body of humiliation! Body of humiliation!"

Christianity is deeply aware of the humiliation, degradation, and dishonor of the body in death. The death of Jesus stamped forever our expectation. Is the disciple above his Lord? Should we expect anything better? His back was torn from scourging, his face swollen from punching, his face bloodied from the thorns and beard-pulling, his hands and feet swollen and mangled with the spikes, his side pierced with a large spear. And he was shamefully naked. He died with a "loud cry" (Mark 15:37).

How precious, therefore, to all followers of Jesus, that he rose from the dead with a "body of glory," never to die again! And how precious is the promise of Romans 6:5 that, "If we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection." And the promise of 1 Corinthians 15:43, "It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory." And the promise of Philippians 3:21, "He will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory." And the promise of Matthew 13:43, "Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father."

O let us learn how to help each other die! It will not be easy. But, by grace, we will help each other say in our final pain, "To die is gain."

Preparing with you,

Pastor John

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee
/ByDate/2000/1162_It_Is_Sown_in_Dishonor_It_Is_Raised_in_Glory/

Celebrate Life

On Sunday morning Daryl and I got a call as we were getting ready for church that Grandad wasn't doing too well. We spent the day with my family beside Grandad's bed, sometimes holding his hand as he would smile and try to speak, sometimes whispering quietly to each other, and sometimes laughing over old memories.

Grandad was dying. His lungs were filling with fluid and he wasn't able to eat or drink anything. Soon his voluntary functions failed and it would only be a matter of time before his heart would give up and he would know longer fight to breathe.

That night I went to bed praying God would comfort Grandad and that God would comfort us, and that if it was best, that I could be there when he passed.

God said yes to all of those things. The next morning dad was with him, and he was still cognitive. Dad got to tell him that we all loved him and that Jesus certainly did. Dad said Grandad would occasionally look up at him as if for help, so they increased the amount of morphine they were giving him and gave it more frequently.

You die alone. People may be there looking on, but it must be slightly frightening. It's always slightly frightening for me any time I have to go into the unknown without a buddy - no matter how good you expect it to be or have heard that it is.

By the time I got there he wasn't cognitive anymore. He would gasp every few seconds for air, but oxygen was getting more and more difficult to come by. It's the first time his eyes haven't lit up and his smile didn't spread across his face when I walked in the door that I can remember.

Mom came. Clint and Phil came (his other son and daughter-in-law). We sat talking outside and I decided to check Grandad, and I noticed he didn't appear to be gasping as before. We all filed in and sure enough, his heart beat was much slower.

Within minutes, it completely stopped.

I have never seen anyone die before, but it was amazing to me how different the body looks without life in it anymore.

I remember rubbing his feet as I watched him, and watched my family, and thinking, "This is really such a good thing. He is going HOME. I know it's hard, but it's good all at the same time."

You know we celebrate the birth of a baby so much. This past week two women very close to me - my sister-in-law and a great friend gave birth and Daryl and I were so excited and everyone talked about it, but then when my grandad, who knows and believes in Jesus Christ and so has the promise of eternal life in a PERFECT place slipped from this life into his knew life, we suddenly find it harder to celebrate.

Even though I knew in my head that it was best for Grandad to be with the Lord, I was still left with so many emotions I couldn't even quite describe. Some of the hardest ones even may have come from watching my dad suffer through his father's death, and even from just thinking about the vapor of life.

As my friend Ashley reminded me the next day, death wasn't part of God's plan. I guess that's why it doesn't seem right. We kind of brought that on ourselves. But thankfully for us, out of God's kindness He has redeemed life through the blood of His Son. We die here, but if we have placed our faith in Christ, we get to live forever there.

Here - the world - sometimes good, sometimes bad; where evil resides
There - heaven - perfect, no crying, no sin, no judgment, no pain, no death

Praise God for His very dear and precious promises!

I must confess that I hope when I get there we do get to be near the people we loved and knew.

That's it for tonight...

How Can I Keep From Singing...

Easy, stick me in a room full of people I hardly know. That would shut me up real quick!

But in all serious - and I know, this is going to see nerdy and mushy for lots of you, so pardon, but I was just in our kitchen washing the dishes that aren't supposed to go in the dishwasher (wouldn't you know we use them almost every night?!) listening to the contemporary Christian station on TV and Chris Tomlin's song, "How Can I Keep From Singing" came on.

He was singing about God's amazing love for him and how it just makes him want to sing. I had to just stop and sit down because I was overwhelmed by God's love for me (and He has the same love for YOU!) and His goodness towards me.

How many times as a girl, as a young woman, and as a bachlorette had I loaded dishes into the dishwasher and hoped for the day to come when I'd be loading the dishwasher in preparation for my husband to come home?

I am so blessed!

Hebrews 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Once again, God has done more than I could have ever hoped or imagined (Ephesians 3:20)!

Not only am I doing dishes in the home of mine and my HUSBANDS, my husband is AWESOME!!!!!
He works hard at work and yet he puts me first, always
He brings me medicine and water in the middle of the night
He lets me stick my freezing toes under his legs to get warm
He thanks me EVERY night for cooking
He listens to music he doesn't like and smiles because I like it
He prays for me
He delights in me
He seeks wisdom and desires to honor God
He is honest
He lets me order dessert
He kisses me at the gym
He dances with me
He lets me sleep on the side of the bed with the nightstand
He keeps Simon out of the bed
He has cool spikey hair
He provides for us
He always empties the trash
He wipes down the bathroom mirror in the morning so I don't see the spots
He writes me notes
He brings me flowers
He is my best friend
He is my confidant
He makes every night seem like a slumber party!
He laughs with me
He reads with me
He serves me
He is handsome
He takes care of his body
He takes walks with me
He snuggles with me
He is kind to my friends
He gives me good advice
He helps me put my coat on
He got me new tires!

I could go on and on, but I won't. I am just amazed, amazed, amazed at God's goodness to me in so many ways.

I think a long time ago I used to think I deserved a great husband. Then out of God's wonderful kindness, He revealed to me that really I don't "deserve" anything and it's really never about me. Everything good that I get is merely a gift from Him, that I can never repay or merit.

This gift He has given me has again reminded me of HIS goodness and love.

I'm with Chris - my soul can't help but sing.

For all of the lyrics to Chris's song, click here

The Morning of...

Okay, so no one is as interested in this as I am, but I got some pictures of the morning of my wedding from my dear, dear, dear friend Bethany...

I love her!

So, here is a run down of the morning of my wedding - this will be a day that I remember as one of the most happy in my life forever, I'm sure...

At a little before 7 a.m. my cell phone rang. It was a lady from the mail distribution center in Morgantown letting me know that my Passport had finally come in. WE WERE GOING ON OUR HONEYMOON!!!!! WHEW HOO!

My darling father and wonderful brother (two of the most helpful people alive) went to pick it up so I could enjoy my morning.

I had an AWESOME time with my Father that morning and was just so overwhelmed at His kindness towards me in SO many ways. He is so faithful! I was so thankful to have my passport, so thankful to have such AWESOME family and friends, and SOOOOOOOO thankful to be getting married - and not just getting married, but to someone so perfectly wired for me! I LOVE HIM!

Ok, so anyways, Bethany and I got ready and headed to breakfast downstairs in the hotel restaurant with my lovely friends Andrea and Nichole. I was wearing the fabulous white sweat-suit my mom had generously bought me - she actually bought three and two different pairs of sandals bc she wasn't sure which ones would fit or I would like! How cute!



The food and service was great, but the time with my friends was even better! THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS! My bridesmaids had put together this cute bag for me to take on my honeymoon and filled it with sweet letters to encourage and love on me and little things I could use on the trip (all suited to their personalities I must say). That was one of my favorite moments of my day. I kept thinking how blessed I was to have such dears friends who know me so intimately and STILL love me. Wow.

Anyways, then Bethany and I went to Portfolio's to get our hair and make-up done! How fun was that! I was a little nervous about my hair, I confess, but as soon as Ted finished my make-up, I was excited again.

During that time my beloved sister-in-law was transporting one of my sweet bridesmaids, Becky to my grandma's to pick up her dress which was being altered and Daryl was just awaking and pondering going to the gym :) (Josy and Cody - your e-card was PERFECTO!)

Anyways, after getting all ready we hit the road for the church. No time to eat - we had to go. And I was OH so excited! (Did I mention that Bethany had the coolest hair do ever?)

It's funny all the thoughts that race through your head on your way to get married - what if we wreck? Is someone going to see me that shouldn't? I'M SO EXCITED!"

When we arrived, I was so excited to get inside I just wanted to jump and run! Fortunately, the insanely long veil I was carrying and my pinned up hair saved my lady-like reputation (wink wink) and kept me moving slow and poised - hee hee.

When we entered the church almost all the bridesmaids were there all bustling around, looking as awesome as ever!!!! Alison was steaming my dress - what a life savor you were!, and everything was going awesome. Kadie had even brought cute little tubs of snacks and drinks!!!! She saved us all from passing out which is definitely worth commending.

I WAS SO ESTATIC - I didn't even look in the mirror until after Scott took preliminary pictures.

But then, we just had to sit and wait. Which I confess was fun at times, but I could hardly stand it... I just wanted to get married. So here's how we passed the time...



Not to mention, many awesome friends stopped in to say hello, Sarah Chartschlaa came all the way from Lynchburg to tell me stories :), Nichole was kind enough to do a hygiene check for me, and we almost got Lauren Byrer to sing a song from the Passion.

Thanks for the memories...It really was one of the most fun times of my entire life.

Tonight Daryl had accountability group at OUR house (that's still fun) and so I vacated the premises so the guys could be alone for "man time." :)

I headed to Target in search for this cool pub mirror with hooks to hang in the entry way of our house and somehow ended up returning home with a coupon book, a thing of paper clips, a lamp shade, and some thank you cards. Suffering from buyer's remorse and going through shopping justification in my head didn't seem as big of a deal when I was single, but now not only do I, BB&T, and God know that I overspent, so does Daryl :) Uh oh.

What's a girl to do?



Anyways, as I was pondering my purchases (all of which I will put to good use I should add) and why I got more than I intended, I decided its really not so much because I'm HUGELY materialistic (let's just be honest - I'm more materialistic than I would like to be), or because I'm frivolous or part-take in consumer debt, it's mainly because I had a lot of time on my hands and wasn't very focused.

When I go grocery shopping, I'm focused. I have a precise list with just the ingredients and snack items needed for the meals on our schedule for the week and that's what I get. Not so with my Target trip. I thought, "I have to pick up the mirror and then I'll just 'meander' around." No real plan involved.

I wonder how often in life God would like to grab my face and say "FOCUS! Stick to the plan! I want one thing from you" - okay so two, 1) to love Him, and 2) to love others, and I try to do 80 things; most of which don't even align with each other.

I thought about how bad it would if Daryl kept losing focus on me and being distracted by billions of other things. I would HATE it and cry and whine and want to eat a lot of chocolate but be too sick on my stomach to do that, and yet I lose focus on my Father and what He wants from me all the time.

Anyways, all that from a pub mirror with hooks...

Married Life Live...

That title is stolen, but I like it, and it's now true...



I'm married!!! No more dreams of what marriage is like, now I get to live it and see it first hand, which is WAY better than dreaming!

When I get some pics in I'll post some - but the whole getting ready for and actually going through with the wedding was AWESOME! We really hope people had a good time and that above all they saw Jesus.

The honeymoon rocked out too! My luggage didn't arrive until halfway through, but thankfully on honeymoons, that's okay :)

Thanks to everyone who made the beginning of our life together SO awesome!

Continuing on...

I have no really good excuse for not writing besides the fact that I have been putting all my time in other places - some necessary, some not. If you allow it, being engaged is sort of like being sucked in to a big black hole... You plan, you hang out with your fiance', you work out, you spend more time with your fiance', you squeeze in time with friends because you know some of this will change soon, you run back to your fiance', you meet with family, think about your fiance', you meet with florists, call your fiance', you schedule with bands, go visit your fiance', talk with photographers, think about how handsome your fiance' is, sleep, dream about your fiance'.... It's great!

But then at times reality seeps back in and you realize this is not all life is about. There are other things too. This week Pappap went to the hospital and found out he had colon cancer. One of my friend's just got left by their spouse. One of my friends lost their grandma this week. One of my friend's is broken hearted. One of my friend's wants to know how to forgive even though someone has hurt her so badly.

On the other hand some really cool things are happening too. One of my friend's just found out she didn't have a fatal heart condition that weeks ago doctors believed she did have. One of my friends was able to move into a new place with her husband this week that they've been hoping to have for quite some time. One of my friends just had a baby shower for a baby they'd been praying to have for years now.

All of these reality checks made me realize that I really need to be praying more. Yes, sometimes God ordains bad or unjust things to happen for reasons we don't understand, and that's fine, we really don'tDESERVE anything good, but there are other times when I wonder if I would just humble myself and fervently pray about things, if they would work out differently?

I thought of a passage of Scripture this morning when certain followers of Jesus asked Him why they weren't able to help a certain person as they usual were able to do. His response to them in Mark 9:39 was that because it would only happen by prayer and wouldn't you know - they hadn't tried that yet. (I'm so glad someone shares my ignorance!)

I love when Samuel gives his farewell speech to his people in the Bible and he says, "As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right." We aren't just to teach. We are to pray.

Lord, I need to pray more.

Free to great home

It's unfortunate, but true... Adelaide must go.

The good news is, she has to go because I'm getting married (which far outweighs the sadness of losing poor Adelaide) and my husband-to-be is very allergic.

So, this blog is really just a sales pitch.

I need to find a good home for Adelaide.

She is absolutely gorgeous. She is half Persian and half Main Coon (for pictures of cats like her, type in Main Coon on google). Basically she is a long haired beauty, almost two years old (in May), de-clawed, indoor, up to date on shots, and a wonderful pet and companion.

She causes me no trouble and is an absolutel joy. She is not necessarily a lap cat - at this point she would rather play (no need to buy toys - bags, boxes, q-tips, bottle caps, your fingers, etc can entertain her for hours), but she does love to cuddle in the morning and night (if you're available).

Let me know if you or someone you know would like her. :)

Bliss

This weekend was one of the best weekends of my life...

On top of an excellent slumber party with some high school friends and a great bridal shower for my cousin, Daryl and I promised to love each other our whole lives long!!!!!!

A.K.A. - WE GOT ENGAGED!

On Friday Daryl took me to this gorgeous restaurant called The Le Mont which over looks the three rivers and highlights the skyline beautifully! We had a wonderful meal together just enjoying each other’s company and then we went down to Market Square.

Out of God’s kindness to us, it was Light Up Night in Pittsburgh where they have a bunch of fun activities downtown and light up Christmas trees and put off fire works. We rode up this incline to Mt. Washington and walked out onto an overlook to watch the fireworks.

When the fire works ended our overlook emptied out all except one girl who I didn’t even notice! This too was God’s kindness towards us because not only were the other overlooks around us still packed with people, the girl was able to take our picture afterwards! (Hee hee)

Daryl began by sharing some things with me and then he got down on one knee, took my hand in his and asked if I would marry him! I of course said yes and wow – the ring is beautiful! I feel prettier all the time!

But I don’t just love being engaged because I have a cool ring, I love being engaged because it makes our love for each other and our commitment to each other public and obvious. I literally have a seal of his love for me, much like I have the Holy Spirit as a seal of God’s love for me.

Pretty amazing how the love between a man and a woman can mirror the love between Christ and the church – and how I have already learned so much about God’s love for me through my relationship with Daryl. It is Christ in him that has so much captivated my heart and I can’t believe God’s kindness towards me in sending me a man who loves me so well and who I want to love so well, always. He is such a gift and I hope you all can meet him soon if you haven’t!

Thank you for sharing in our excitement with us!

More to come…

Unraveled...

I don't get to watch TV too often, but this week I've gotten more than my fair share!

I was home the other night and joined my roommates for Inside Edition where we heard about all the stars who were divorcing, jealous, or in rehab - all of which made my heart really hurt for them. The show quickly moved into describing the latest fashion at the CMA awards and the prices of some of the girls dresses, enough to feed small countries for years - literally.

Then I went to the gym and they of course hang TV's above all the elliptical machines because thinking is apparently a dangerous thing. Although I had my ipod in my ears, I was distracted by the images that flashed above me. Victoria Secret displayed soft porn in front of me while I prayed that Daryl and my friends husband wouldn't happen to walk over right then, and the other screen showed Nicolas Cage being held at gun point, and the other one a lesbian encounter. All on just regular TV at 9pm.

I confess that I don't typically watch TV so I may be more shellshocked than most, but 2 Corinthians 4:20 says, "Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regards to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults."

While trying to put my finger on why the things I was viewing bothered me so much Daryl made a wise comment, "It's because everything in your Spirit is contrary to what you were watching."

Christ has come to give us hope and life - not death and despair. Christ has given us love and peace - not immorality, jealousy and violence.

Interesting that Satan has come up with such deceiving counterparts to what Christ really has to offer.

As I completed my work outI honestly wondered if media would be the demise of the world and the demise of my children, should I ever be blessed with them.

But this is the encouragement I received from the one who is all together faithful...

Galatians 1:3-4, "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father..."

And 2 Peter 1:3-4, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

He will rescue. Praise Him!

Lions, and tigers, and bears - OH MY!

Last week Daryl and I got the chance to go to Hovatter's Zoo in Kingwood. If you haven't been there, I would highly suggest it. It brings me much joy, and fortunately, Daryl loved it too!



Told yah...

Anyways, last week a bunch of us were talking about memorizing Scripture and how Ephesians 6 lists "the sword of the Spirit" (the Bible) as our one offensive weapon. In youth group that night I shared a story about a man who killed a lion that had attacked him with his sheath knife. Had he not had the knife, or had the knife not been sharp, it would have been all over for him.

In the same way, when I don't have the word of God in an attack, ready to fire, I can get mauled, or tangled up in the devils claws and teeth. 1 Peter 5:8 calls the devil a "roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."

It was cool to go to the zoo the next day and watch these lions. They are so massive and muscular and scary. They are not nice. They are not house cats. They are mean and they will eat you.



Satan is looking for who he can devour. We don't want to just scare him off, we want to wound him. Have your sword ready.

Keyless

Daryl went out of town this week for a conference and oddly enough both sets of my car keys are with him, under the passengers seat of his car.

Who does that?

This just serves as another obvious sign that I need to do better at keeping order in my life, which requires some slowing down.

I didn't know that they they were in his car until yesterday so I spent Sunday night into early Monday morning searching. When I realized that all hopes of finding them in my home were gone, I decided to sleep in, cancel my 11am meeting that I had scheduled on my day off and...continue to sleep.

I got up around 12:30 which is craziness for me, watched Family Feud, prayed, journaled, read, and prayed some more...

I haven't felt so good in months!

Some times less stuff means less stress. It was one of the most relaxing days I have ever spent.

Oh how I appreciate the sovereignty of God. Truely.

Back from the dead

Okay, so I most certainly haven't been dead, but maybe that got your attention!

This morning I was up working fairly early for me. There was a CD playing in the background and the singers were singing about being all happy in love with God.

I wasn't necessarily all "happy in love," but I was extremely delighted when God reminded me that love isn't "a feeling of ecstacy" or "overwhelming excitement about someone" (although these feelings are often associated with love).

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

The two greatest commandest are to love God and love others. I wish I always had the ooey gooey feeling towards God and others, but the truth is sometimes I don't have that ooey gooey feeling. Sometimes I just have to choose to love the way 1 Corinthians says to and that's okay. Sometimes I have to choose to tell Him that I love Him. Choose to hug a friend. Choose to sit and read His Word. Choose to listen to others. Choose to sing. Choose to smile. Choose to raise my hands and delight in Him. Choose to serve the desires of others rather than my own. Choose to obey. Choose to submit.

I choose because "the law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them is GREAT reward." Prsalm 19:7-11.

Organic Milk Tastes...

Different.

That's what we discovered today around the lunch table. How organic milk is different from regular milk, I'm unsure, but it must be, because it tasted so.

Such a difference reminded me of the difference that is supposed to be seen in my life. If I'm living out of my intimate relationship with God through Christ, there should be a noticeable difference in me, just like there was a noticeable difference in my milk today.

And that difference should be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

I'll have to be more careful not to dilute myself with busy-ness and to do lists, but rather to sit and know God. I want to taste different too, and I can, by His power.

The Ultimate

My last post was from March 2006, so to state the obvious, perhaps I'm not so great at blogging!

But this morning as I was studying to teach some middle school students what it means to have eternal life, I was overwhelmed at what God so kindly revealed to me, and I have to share it.

John 17:3 says, "This is eternal life, that they may know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."

The word "know" means "to associate oneself in an intimate relationship."

Knowing God doesn't mean knowing all about Him or even doing the things we think or know He would like us to do. Knowing God means being in an intimate, personal relationship with Him - pouring out our hearts to Him and living life with Him.

How do we get there?

God out of His kindness draws us to Himself through Christ Jesus and overcomes our natural desire to hate and deny Him. He removes blinders from our eyes to see Him as He really is, and when that happens, whether it's through His Word or a person, we are overwhelmed with how wonderful He is, and how much He loves us, and cannot help but desire to submit to His goodness.

Our motive for this eternal life is not to avoid Hell (which we hear is bad), or to get to enjoy certain pleasures. Our motive for eternal life is to enjoy God.

In eternal life (which begins the moment we believe God) we do receive blessing upon blessing - gifts and wonderful relationships with others. But the things those who know God and have eternal life love about those gifts and relationships is what we see of God in them.

How I pray He will open my eyes to His glory and goodness more and more and that I will know and therefore love Him above all else.

"Continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 3:18