Celebrate Life

On Sunday morning Daryl and I got a call as we were getting ready for church that Grandad wasn't doing too well. We spent the day with my family beside Grandad's bed, sometimes holding his hand as he would smile and try to speak, sometimes whispering quietly to each other, and sometimes laughing over old memories.

Grandad was dying. His lungs were filling with fluid and he wasn't able to eat or drink anything. Soon his voluntary functions failed and it would only be a matter of time before his heart would give up and he would know longer fight to breathe.

That night I went to bed praying God would comfort Grandad and that God would comfort us, and that if it was best, that I could be there when he passed.

God said yes to all of those things. The next morning dad was with him, and he was still cognitive. Dad got to tell him that we all loved him and that Jesus certainly did. Dad said Grandad would occasionally look up at him as if for help, so they increased the amount of morphine they were giving him and gave it more frequently.

You die alone. People may be there looking on, but it must be slightly frightening. It's always slightly frightening for me any time I have to go into the unknown without a buddy - no matter how good you expect it to be or have heard that it is.

By the time I got there he wasn't cognitive anymore. He would gasp every few seconds for air, but oxygen was getting more and more difficult to come by. It's the first time his eyes haven't lit up and his smile didn't spread across his face when I walked in the door that I can remember.

Mom came. Clint and Phil came (his other son and daughter-in-law). We sat talking outside and I decided to check Grandad, and I noticed he didn't appear to be gasping as before. We all filed in and sure enough, his heart beat was much slower.

Within minutes, it completely stopped.

I have never seen anyone die before, but it was amazing to me how different the body looks without life in it anymore.

I remember rubbing his feet as I watched him, and watched my family, and thinking, "This is really such a good thing. He is going HOME. I know it's hard, but it's good all at the same time."

You know we celebrate the birth of a baby so much. This past week two women very close to me - my sister-in-law and a great friend gave birth and Daryl and I were so excited and everyone talked about it, but then when my grandad, who knows and believes in Jesus Christ and so has the promise of eternal life in a PERFECT place slipped from this life into his knew life, we suddenly find it harder to celebrate.

Even though I knew in my head that it was best for Grandad to be with the Lord, I was still left with so many emotions I couldn't even quite describe. Some of the hardest ones even may have come from watching my dad suffer through his father's death, and even from just thinking about the vapor of life.

As my friend Ashley reminded me the next day, death wasn't part of God's plan. I guess that's why it doesn't seem right. We kind of brought that on ourselves. But thankfully for us, out of God's kindness He has redeemed life through the blood of His Son. We die here, but if we have placed our faith in Christ, we get to live forever there.

Here - the world - sometimes good, sometimes bad; where evil resides
There - heaven - perfect, no crying, no sin, no judgment, no pain, no death

Praise God for His very dear and precious promises!

I must confess that I hope when I get there we do get to be near the people we loved and knew.

That's it for tonight...