Uncertain

Life has gotten more routine for us in the Reynold's household and Anna and mommy have been getting out more and more. Daryl and I even took a date last week without her!

However, we have been having troubles with an inconsolable baby at times and it seems to be tummy related. At first I thought she was just fussy, not wanting to sleep during the day time, but now it is more consistently after certain feedings of the day - she'll arch her little back and then pull up her knees and scream. It will pass, but then return - much like cramps.

Poor little thing! Sometimes simethicone drops seem to work, but sometimes not. We are trying to limit certain things in my diet but since the beginning I was already avoiding the large triggers - broccoli, onions, cauliflower, lots of dairy, caffeine, etc. Now I'm trying to avoid dairy completely to see if that helps. We'll see. It's frustrating being afraid to eat anything at all for fear it will make her more uncomfortable, but also knowing I have to stay nourished for my own sanity and to nourish her.

She has brought us so many moments of great joy. It is with pride I take her around with me and with joy I hold her on my chest when she sleeps. I love how she now focuses so alertly on our faces and looks so intently at me when I sing to her. I love her cute little faces and standing over the crib at night when she inadvertently smiles.

And yet I hate hearing her groan and grunt and strain over the monitor as she sleeps, indicating she's not feeling so well. I hate when she screams and screams and nothing comforts her. I hate watching her contort in pain. While it's made me love her more and be more compassionate to her, it is hard to watch your child be in such discomfort. I suppose this will only get worse as time goes by and boys break her heart and friends tease her for her long toes :)

So our baby may be developing colic. She may be allergic to something. Or perhaps it's just a short term issue - like a stomach bug. Regardless, last night while we prayed for her Daryl thanked God for His Sovereignty and I was struck at how quickly I forget - He is in control and He is good.

Today as I tried to soothe our baby, this song by Nicole Nordeman brought me to tears with gratefulness at yet another gentle reminder that He is in control and loving us...

When the sun starts to rise
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are so good

When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned
you are good, so good
When somebodies hand holds me up, helps me stand
you are so good

With every breath I take in I'll tell you I'm grateful again
Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved (and anna is loved!)
and you are good

So how can I thank you
What can I bring
What can these poor hands lay at the feet of a king
I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful
For holding my life in your hands

When it's dark and it's cold
and I can't feel my soul
You are good, so good
When the world has gone grey
and the rain is here to stay
You are still good

And the storm may swell
Even then it is well
And you are good

How can I thank you
What can I bring
What can these poor hands
Lay at the feet of a King?

So I'll sing you this love song
It's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful
For holding my life in your hands
You're holding my life in your hands

God sees and knows and He is good. How thankful I am to not be going through this alone!

Isaiah 41:10, "Be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

If you think of it, feel free to pray for wisdom and grace for us and of course healing for our little baby. We need His help so much! :)