If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

I am a far cry from a perfect wife. There are ways I have behaved that I never thought I would; attitudes of disrespect that I have portrayed that should have never even crossed my mind. But despite all my sin, God has been so gracious to give me a wealth of love and respect for my husband and further gracious to give me a husband who is as worthy as any man could ever be to have it.

I don't know if Daryl will ever even read this blog, but I'm writing it anyways because it burns within me and that often means it needs to be said (or in this case, written).

Ephesians 5:25-30 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourished and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body."

This is a familiar passage but one that is rarely (not so rare among my friends), but rarely still, acted upon. Many husbands may "love" their wives by treating them to dinners out, saying sweet things to them, or holding their hands in public, but I am amazed at my husband's faithfulness to not only love me and give his desires up for me (trading Xbox for emptying trashes, staying up late for coming to bed with me, a relaxing weekend at home for grocery shopping and serving at a leadership retreat, etc, etc), but he, so much like Christ, is ever faithful to speak the word to me in due time in the hopes to help me further become holy and without blemish (God had to give me a man good at this, as I am a piece of work for sure! :) )

Anyways, I just wanted to publicly commend my husband for being so faithful to speak the truth to me in love. He is so generous and kind towards me and surely it would be unkind for him to leave me in a sinful state as that never produces the life God intends for us to have for His glory or our joy. I am so thankful that when my heart is sad or angry or heavy that Daryl asks to pray with me - or for me if I have no energy or words - and so thankful that he consistently points me to trust in God and His ways and to abide in Christ.

There is no perfect man outside of Christ, and my husband knows this and so gets his counsel from Christ and takes me to Him for further assistance :) I am so grateful.

And as I am sure my husband hopes too, I am sure that his faithfulness to "wash me with the word" will over time make me less and less blemished and what a glorious thing that will be for us all! So if you see good in me, thank God first, and then thank Daryl for being a vessel the Lord can count on to scrub the roughness out of me!

Finally, single ladies....Josh McDowell has said that what you are as a single person you will be as a married person. This is true in some regards although I really do believe you change very much in marriage if you are both pursuing Christ - there is no way not to. However, this change takes time and a deep commitment to Christ. Please don't marry a man that is not pursuing God as a consistent pattern of his life. It is never worth it no matter how funny, attractive, charming, wealthy, etc that he is. Marry a man who abides in Christ - then you will have a life giving marriage and one that you are not ashamed to showcase before the world or regretful of before the throne of grace.

Thanks be to God for great things He has done.

Great Expectations

Growing up my greatest dream was to be someones wife (or better put - to be the love of some fantastic man's life; be preferred above others to one man; be romanced, pursued, you get the point) and then to be a mother. I can remember as a little girl wanting triplets - all girls with shiny, wavy hair that bounced and swayed as they happily skipped behind me. I of course had no idea what parenting entailed, and now if you told me I was having triplets I am sure I would immediately fall on my knees and tell God that He of course would have to give me the grace to survive that - I mean how do you nurse three babies in the same day????

Anyways, motherhood has been very awesome in many ways. I love talking and laughing with Anna in the mornings when we are all alone. I love reading books to her and watching her startled face when I move her too suddenly or make a loud noise. I love her confused face when she sits in her bouncer seat on the counter and "helps" me make dinner. I love dancing and singing worship songs to her and I love kissing her. However, to my shame I must confess that sometimes I get discontent with my life at current.

When I think of summer I think of hiking, camping, eating fabulous meals on the deck, walking around the lake with Daryl, being able to up and go whenever, vacations, parties, putt putt golf, scrapbooking, etc. This summer is different. Camping wouldn't be up Anna's ally, hiking is often difficult to squeeze in between feedings, and scrapbooking - yeah, right! Whenever we go out I have to think about when I'll need to be home to feed Anna, if I have enough diapers, and what the plan will be if she freaks out in public.

I knew motherhood would be semi-difficult, but I didn't ever think somedays I would miss days pre-children. I would never trade being a mother, but somedays I confess that I look at Daryl playing video games and in my head I want to throw books at him and say "YOU TAKE CARE OF HER!" I go upstairs and vent that I spend all day serving him and Anna and it's just not fair - why didn't God give him the milk or make him responsible for managing the interior of our home? Other times I'll be talking to a friend about how she and her husband just "duh duh duh duh duh all weekend" and I wish I could have a weekend like that.

Titus 2:3-5 says, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be maligned." My role is to love my husband and my daughter and to serve them - dirty dishes and all.

While I was reading in Philippians the other day this verse struck me anew...

"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world." (vs. 14-15)

The word grumbling there means "thought, doubt, argument or dispute." The word questioning: "complaint, grumbling, whisper, private talk." WOW.

The Holy Spirit was so gracious to convict me! I had slipped into grumbling and questioning, doubting and disputing, and privately talking against the awesome role that God has in His goodness and sovereingty given to ME.

I have the privilege of being Anna's mother. I have the joy of being Daryl's wife. I am to delight in them, to be busy making my home wonderful and comfortable and appealing to them, and to be kind to them always - even in the midst of vacationless summers, spit up and mounds of laundry.

May God always be so generous to convict me when I forget the goodness of the role that He has chosen to bless me with and may I continue to abide in Him and in His strength to fulfill my calling with joy and vigor.

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strenght." Philippians 4:13.

It's Deepest Meaning

"A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:31-32).

Last night Daryl and I spent some time reading from John Piper's book The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came to Die, reflecting on the reasons and praying together. It was a really sweet time and one of the experts we chose to read was "Christ Suffered and Died to Give Marriage It's Deepest Meaning" (appropriate since today is our first anniversary!).

Piper shared how Scripture shows that marriage was God's idea before Adam and Eve and the coming of Christ, and how God had marriage in mind as a way to make Christ's love for his people more evident. Christ's suffering and death gave an extreme example (particularly to husbands as they are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her) for marriage and give marriage it's deepest meaning.

"Because Christ died for both the husband and wife...their sins are forgiven. Neither needs to make each other suffer for sins. Christ has borne that suffering." "Now we see that marriage is meant to make Christ's love for his people more visible to the world" (John Piper).

This year has been one of the most fun, enjoyable, and growing years of my entire life (it's true - not many can say they've gained so much weight their first year of marriage - hee hee). But in all seriousness, my relationship with Daryl has taught me tons about my relationship with God and helped me grow leaps and bounds in appreciation for God and His great love for me expressed primarily through the gospel - that Christ died for sinners.

I have grown in my understanding of grace and unconditional love. I have further learned how I can more practically love and respect my heavenly Father as I learn how to love and respect Daryl. I have further recognized God's faithfulness and my unworthiness as I experience forgiveness and freedom to be myself with my husband. God's kindness in using Daryl to lavish His love on me in millions of tangible ways has been incredible.

It is our prayer that as we continue to grow in Christ as a couple that our marriage will mirror God's love for people more and more to those around us and so adorn the gospel.

Thanks be to God for such a wonderful gift and for His wisdom in giving us such a joyful way to further experience His great love for us.

The Delight of Loving My Husband

That's actually a chapter title in the book "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Maheney.

I loved the chapter because it taught me so much and reminded me not only of the high calling to love my husband, but the great joy that there is in it.

In Titus 2 we are told that married women who believe in God through Christ should, "love" their husbands.

Interestingly enough, the word in the original Greek is phileo, and describes the love between two very close friends. Christians are called to agape love everyone - sacrifice, love unconditionally, etc, but Christian wives are called to go even further with their husbands - to enjoy them as a friend.

Some practical ways I've been encouraged to phileo love my husband, by God's grace:
Speak highly of him always
Laugh with him
Encourage him
Spend time with him
Spend time with him DOING THINGS HE LIKES (i.e. one of our new favorite past times is playing Burn Out Revenge on Xbox and I'm not half bad - the point of the game you see is to crash)
Be eager to serve him (dinner, picking up after myself/him)
Welcome him warmly (i.e. lots of hugs and kisses and joy) when he returns home

He hasn't made it difficult, and it is true - loving my husband brings me absolute delight.

I praise God for such a godly, unselfish, kind and wise husband, for "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17